Just a notice that I'm going through my gallery, doing some fall cleaning. I had a lot of really old work in there and I felt it wasn't an accurate representation of my abilities as they are now. That, and my gallery didn't feel entirely unified...so I'll be changing some things around; deleting, organizing, editing, adding--yes ADDING. Lol. Things have been crazy since June so even the stuff I've done over the summer isn't on the comp yet.

Anyway, I'm not dead! Yay

For anyone who read my last entry and has been disappointed from my lack of activity here, I'm very sorry. Life has turned inside out and upside down over the course of a few months, and I've been in artistic limbo.

I have a job which I'm very grateful for; what with the economy in poor health and layoffs happening at a shocking pace, I'm glad that I was able to work in the first place. I feel like a little squirrel holing up acorns for the winter--except it's more like the rest of my life instead of winter, lol. Paying my own way through school is tough but it's working out, and this mild sensation of independence is very satisfying.

Soooo I've been busy but the art is still coming--I have many little projects underway:

-fleece hats
-The Celestial Council
-World of Warcraft fan art
-Miscellaneous too-small-to-put-a-name-to projects

On that note, should I make myself available for commissions?. Basically, if I made them available, is there any interest for it? Advice and two-cents are appreciated.

I'm very excited to get back on my feet art-wise!

~Zene

It's 4 days shy of being one year since I last wrote in this journal, lol. Okay well, for those who care, I'll give the short version of what's happenin.

I'm no longer attending Savannah College of Art and Design due to financial issues, but I learned a great deal in the one year I was there. Wonderful teachers, great friends, beautiful city, and that famous Southern hospitality made my one year a stint I will never forget. I hope to go back, but whether it will be just to visit or go to school I don't know. So right now I'm at community college getting Gen Ed's out of the way, and planning to transfer to a 4-year for a degree in illustration.

Art stuffs-- I'll be posting SCAD stuff as soon as I can get them photographed in halfway-decent light, lol. I haven't done too much original stuff except a few sketches and logo work. I want to start a little business as an artist, too, since being in school doesn't mean you can't do what you were born to do Currently the only thing I've done so far is make some cute fleece hats (which I will also be posting here soon) and some preliminary designs for 2D work. I'm trying my hand at new digital and traditional mediums and newer subjects as well, tryin to get myself more well-rounded.

So that's my 1-minute low-down of what's up, lol. As always, feel free to critique my work (both old and new)--I'm always looking to improve!

Stay cool peeps!

~Zene

"Healing Waters" by Michelle Tumes

I've built a bridge
All of my strength cannot cross over
I stand at the edge
The end of a road that I have followed
Sinking from the weight of my own world
Wanting the waves of Your ways to wash my feet

[Chorus:]
Healing waters
Healing waters
Solace flows through the river of forgiveness to my soul
Oh, I need You
Healing waters

Pour over me water to clean all my intentions
Baptizing streams
I swim in the freedom of redemption
Floating on the sea of purity
Knowing I can dive in the love that rescues me

[Chorus:]
Healing waters
Healing waters
Solace flows through the river of forgiveness to my soul
Oh, I need You
Healing waters

Memories are raging high
Floods so deep they touch the sky
All the things I've done to You
All the parts of a life untrue
Healing comes from outstretched hands
Saving me from what I am
Carry me
Carry me

I first heard this song ages ago on tape, from WoW 1999. (Seems ancient now, lol.) I loved it the first time, but I really appreciate it now. Now is a time of healing...indeed, some old wounds have still not been healed, but I think it was because I was like a little kid keeping my cut away from the rubbing alcohol. I know that the wound will heal by itself, but not wholly and with the cleansing that comes with the medicine. It might sting a little, but I'm ready to release my grip on these things and receive the pain of the healing process. I just want to know and desire Him with everything that I have, not holding any area of my life back...to experience freedom in His arms and love in His eyes, to have Him be everything to me--no earthly thing can compare.

So I'm ready now. I'm ready for the healing...bring on the divine rubbing alcohol.

Semper Honorablus

Has it already been one year? It has, hasn't it?

One year ago, I left my house knowing that I was going to the Honor Academy for a year, in the middle-of-nowhere Texas...a little place not even deserving its own zip code, Garden Valley. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I boarded the plane, especially with a missions trip right before hand. Who would have thought that I would go to Panama, have my life changed there, and then come back to the States and continue that growth? One year ago, I was timid, depressed, lonely, insecure, and prideful all at the same time.

The Honor Academy...I thank God that He placed it in the hearts at Teen Mania to start it. Through all the fasting days, worship, LTEs and work, I grew to recognize who I was in Christ. Those things that I mentioned in the last sentence of the previous paragraph, I still deal with those to some degree but now I know how to fight them. Now I know what is of God, what is of the devil, and what is of my own flesh. Nothing can take the place of this past year...I've learned so much. I've learned and seen what it is to walk in boldness, joy, contentment alone and with others, confident, and humility.

As I sit here at my dusty desk back home, full of knick knacks and the combined possessions of my brother's and mine, I'm filled with memories of how things were before. Only then do I see the stark contrast of then and now. Things I once loved and poured time and energy into, they no longer satisfy. Instead, I only become frustrated as my flesh leaks out a small tingling of desire for those things again. I was driving around town tonight and I asked God, "Can you help me to overcome these temptations?" His reply? "Yes, but you must want to resist as well." There is no going back. My path is set before me, and I see that even though things may not have changed here while I've been gone, I am the one that is changed. But it will only last as long as I want it to, and that desire is to be followed by action. Old temptations and ways of thinking are going to resurface, but knowing what I know now...I am more than able to look them square in the eye and say, "NO."

Semper Honorablus... Always Honorable

Always honorable...for life. Not just when I have a core and an accountability card, but when I seem to be alone as well. Not when I have rules over me, but when I have no rules that have immediate consquences on my present state. Christianity is such a choice! You must choose to do the right thing, even when it is not expedient. You must want the relationship with Jesus and pursue Him, not just use Him as fire insurance and our medicine for any and every ailment we have in this life. I commit to live a life of purity, love, compassion, wisdom, courage, and obedience to the Lord--part of that meaning for sure that I will not date for this year (and neither harbor any thoughts of that), that I will develop myself further through reading and studying Biblical teaching, and that I will continually grow in my relationship with God. I'm not writing this publicly to impress anyone or to seem "holier-than-thou"--I'm doing it so that you reading this can help keep me accountable, because I know that sometimes I may not want to live by this standard myself...

Praise God! He is so good...Where would I be without Him?

~Keely